Saturday, December 25, 2004

Gilbert Blow

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usClass of 1978

Greetings, alumni of Electra High. You won’t know me, but you may think you do. This is the real Gilbert Blow.

You may have wondered why the Gilbert Blow you all knew and hated was, well, just a bit different from your usual high school student. You probably wondered why, when all you guys were out in the car lot smoking Luckies, Perry would join you for a pipe of Three Nuns. And I bet you never knew why he was the only one among you who wore a wig.

Well, I’ve got news for you guys. The Gilbert Blow you used to beat up in the showers was actually my dad. Yes, my fuckin’ father, you assholes. And here’s how.

I refused to go to high school and there was nothing the old man could do about it. That’s why I made my money in Bolivia and am now running for Senate. And that’s why, to save the family honour, Pop gave up his job, pretended to be me, and put up with years of shit on my behalf.

And not one of you noticed. Not. A. Single. Goddam. One. Jeez. That’s some education I missed out on. So long losers! HL